It’s not coincidence- it’s pure, kitty evil genius. Using their expertise in Soviet-style subliminal advertising, cats adjust their purrs and meows to include this frequency which then prompts their owners into responding to them more quickly. Like well trained animals ourselves, we respond because, not only is the sound annoying to us, but it also stimulates our natural instinct to immediately nurture anything that sounds like our offspring, even if it is covered in fur and named Mr. One of the major perks to owning a cat over, say, a dog or a horse, is that all cats instinctively drop their waste into neat little litter boxes, eliminating the need for frequent «walkies» and the palpable awkwardness that comes with the public use of pooper-scoopers and plastic baggies. Cats instinctively seek to bury their droppings, so it works out for everybody. Contrary to popular assumptions though, this behavior doesn’t come from Snowball’s obsessive compulsive cleanliness, but rather an evolutionary holdover from before felines were domesticated and had more dangerous predators than the vacuum cleaner to worry about. Burying the poop prevents detection by their enemies, but there’s another layer to it, which is that they do it to avoid challenging the dominant cat of the group.
It kind of makes sense, if burying the poop is a sign that they fear another, larger animal, then leaving it uncovered would be a pretty aggressive act. No one here is bad enough to fuck with me. So what do you suppose it means when your cat doesn’t bother to cover his poop? In the wacky world of feline politics, feces act as little, smelly flags that clearly dictate the boundaries of each cat’s domain. In the wild, these flags are intended to be seen, and smelled, by other cats, a sign that this is the stomping grounds of a badass kitty. I claim this bed in the name of Admiral Bootiekins!
We helpfully flush away our poop and your cat probably thinks it’s done entirely to avoid offending him. Yes, if you want to take back your house, it’s time to poop in kitty’s bed. By nature cats are hard to read. They’re not like dogs, hopping around with joy when you walk in the door, or slinking away with shame when caught eating the garbage. No, cats have mastered an expression of almost disdainful indifference that they seem to wear regardless of their mood. However, as any spinster will tell you, a cat’s affection is obvious when its purring and rubbing its face and body against your leg.
It’s like the animal is giving you a little kitty hug the only way it knows how! Cats, like many other animals, are packed full of pheromone-oozing scent glands that are primarily used to communicate with other cats on such hot topics as identity, sexual availability and territorial ownership. The most active and important glands that a cat uses to send these messages are located on the tail, the side of the body and the face. That scent in turn communicates to any other animals in the vicinity that not only is it, say, female and horny, but that you, the human, belong to her. When a cat brushes against your legs, it’s less a furry hug and more of a prison yard tattoo. One that reads, «Owned By: Mittens» and, «Single Siamese Female, 8, seeking uncut Tom for a romp in the alley.
Anyone who has ever witnessed a visceral deathmatch between two angry cats is intimately aware of the blood curdling noises the cute little animals are able to create. Besides the demonically drawn out «Mrrrroww» that emanates from the very bowels of Hell itself, when a cat feels threatened, they always turn to the tried and true hiss. Lots of animals make this noise when in the throes of battle, but why? Why is a sudden rush of moist air from such a small creature so frightening to other creatures that cats use it time and time again? And apparently the resemblance is completely intentional. Cats, like many other animals, from butterflies to birds, instinctively employ the art of mimicry in order to best defend themselves from attack. Just like David Blaine in Las Vegas, a cornered cat relies on deception and misdirection in order to avoid being destroyed by its audience, and since most animals have a natural fear of venomous snakes, a sudden hiss accompanied by a spray of saliva coming from a head that resembles the shape of a python’s will cause even the most determined and bloodthirsty hunter to think twice.
So the next time you piss off your kitty and it hisses at you, it’s not just showing its disapproval. Gee, cats are such clean animals, aren’t they? Always licking their fur and grooming themselves. What, did you have some peanut butter on your fingers he has to get off? Maybe he’s allergic to your touch and licking it makes him feel better? Cats have glands that are stimulated when they tug on their fur, that ooze their own scent.
Licking the fur kicks those glands into high gear, making him smell more like himself and ridding him of the terrible, terrible stink of you. It’d be like if after every time you hugged your Mom, she immediately ran down the hall and took a shower. Also, have you ever had a cat suddenly start peeing everywhere after you bring a new girl or guy home? Peeing on their clothes, or in the rooms they spend time in? Mice, birds and exposed ankles often find themselves the unwitting prey of one of the few animal species on Earth that seemingly kills for fun. Thus, many a cat owner has also had the morbid pleasure of being presented with their pet’s fresh kill. Fluffy will come home and drop the bleeding carcass of a bird on your shoe with an expectant look, as if you were going to gobble it up right then and there. Or ain’t ya got the balls? Why does she do it? While perfectly logical, that assumption is slightly incorrect and only half the story. See, cats teach their kittens and other dependent family members how to hunt and catch prey in gradual steps. When Fluffy dropped the corpse on your shoe, that was lesson number one in her teaching curriculum.